I am concerned for my sister. She was molested as a child and now she is a mother. Sometimes it seems she doesn’t care about her kids. I worry that her lack of concern could could cause them to be abused as well. I know I haven’t been in her shoes and I don’t know what is in her heart. I just want to help her and I want to protect my nieces and nephew.
~ Worried Sister
Dear Worried Sister:
Wow, that is a tough situation. I would start with spending some time with your sister, maybe go out to dinner or coffee so you two can have some alone time to talk. Find out how she’s doing. If you feel comfortable enough, you could ask her how she’s dealt with having been molested – this question might not be one you ask out in public. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, let her know you are there if she ever does. You could also ask if she worries about that happening to her own kids. You might suggest counseling to her if she hasn’t already gone this route. Don’t push her if she doesn’t want to talk about it but let her know you are there for her.
Your post the other day about not talking bad about our husbands got me thinking. Is it okay to talk to a close friend about your husband? Sometimes I need someone to talk to and my best friend and I talk about these things. Is that wrong?
~ Sharing with my bestie
Dear Sharing with my bestie:
Great question and one I am sure most women struggle with. The answer still comes back to respect. Are you okay with your husband going to his best friend about you? If you have your husband’s permission to talk about a situation with your best friend, then that would be fine. If it’s a really serious situation it is probably best to seek out your pastor or a counselor – if you are being abused, tell someone! I know it’s hard because we want to vent to someone. What is best for your marriage has to come first. Sometimes we just need some advice. I know I do! My suggestion would be to leave out the details of what is going on and just ask what your friend would do in a certain situation. But do so with caution.
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What advice would you give Worried Sister and Sharing with my bestie? Feel free to share some words of wisdom in the comments!