Dear Mel Vol12

Advice columnDear Mel:
I am presently watching a young family fall apart, and I am finding it very hard not to take it personally. My family is torn apart, and watching the kids experience what I did is killing me. What should I do?
~ Breaking heart ~

Dear Breaking Heart:
Watching a family fall apart is never easy. It can sometimes trigger our own insecurities about our past experiences and hurts. Don’t take it personally. A lot goes into separating and destroying a family. Pray for them and let the family and kids know you are there if they need anything or need to talk. Pray for God to heal their family. I will be praying with your for this family.

Dear Mel:
Why is it that it seems women pick and choose from the bible what they will follow? There are some great Christian women who blog out there and they say they are Titus 2 women and give instructions on living a submissive life as a wife etc but why only obey the rule to submit but ignore all the bible passages about not wearing pants, braiding their hair, and not covering their hair. This seems hypocritical.
~ On The Fence of Being A Christian ~

Dear On The Fence:
That is an excellent question. One I will have to let readers chime in on because I don’t have an answer!


  1. I am copying my answer from what I wrote on the fan page on Facebook. I am guessing this person is referring to Deuteronomy 22:5 which says ” A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” However, I have seen that the Hebrew translation of this verse actually is referring to a warrior and likely the man’s armor but some do translate this to be clothing and thus decide that a woman should not wear pants. I don’t believe it is a sin to wear pants. As another reader commented, pants weren’t even invented in bible times so how this can be translated to mean pants is over my head. But I do believe we all have a duty to do what we feel God is calling us to do.

  2. I may be opening Pandora’s box here but on occasion I do wear long skirts but as an abuse survivor I feel safer wearing pants. If I am cornered they have to work harder which gives me more time to fight and get away.. I’m not saying anyone else should follow my lead but as Melinda says We all need to follow God’s lead on this.

  3. I personally feel if you are using Deuteronomy 22:5, that’s “picking and choosing”. If you read the entire chapter then we need to be pulling out “woollen and linen” materials from our closets as well. When we build a new house we should make a fence around our roofs, and we should stone those who commit adultry.

    I would really like to direct you to an answer given by Tom Brown. If you visit his website, Tom Brown Ministries, there is a tab called Bible Answers among the tabs at the top of the page. Click on that and scroll down to Christian Living. You’ll find a question and answer section he provides in which he addresses this question. Is it a sin for a woman to wear pants? I find him to be very informative with his answers. You may as well. Let the Spirit guide you through this though. I’ve fought the same battle.

    In Love,

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