Dear Mel Vol10

Dear Mel:
I live in a small town that I grew up in. I’m happily married and a Christian now but I wasn’t always. I was into drugs and partying in high school and I had a boyfriend who was abusive. The ex moved back to town a few years ago and I see him everywhere. He won’t leave me alone when I run into him. He even whispers gross things to me about having sex with him sometimes. I feel like I have to stay locked up in my house to avoid him. I’ve even seen him walk past our house before. He makes me nervous. What do I do? I haven’t told my husband about the sexual comments because I’m afraid he’ll go beat him up. I’m just so tired of it.
~ Ex Is A Stalker ~

Dear Ex Is A Stalker:
If he is whispering sexual things to you, he is harassing you and you can turn him into the police. Maybe a visit from a cop will shake him up enough to keep him away. You might look into getting a restraining order. Please be in prayer about this situation and your safety. Keep your cellphone on you at all times. Maybe for a few months you could take your husband with you when you go out and about, this way he can’t corner you and bother you. Keep a journal of each time you run into him, what he says to you, and when/if he walks past your home. You may want to invest in a home security system. Get some mace for your key chain and keep it on hand any time you leave the house.

I don’t have much experience with these things, hopefully my readers will have more advice for you. You may want to call and talk to the police station and ask them what you should do about it. I am praying for a hedge of protection around you and your family. I pray he gets bored and moves on.


  1. Mel,

    I work at the State Probation & Parole Office and everything you told her sounded right to me. She DEFINITELY needs to report it to the police AND get a restraining order. Keeping the record (journal) that you advised her to keep will be a big help also.

    I, too, will lift this woman up in prayer.

  2. I think you’ve been given good advice. Another thing I’d add is to tell your husband about all of it. You don’t want to be dishonest in your marriage and I know my husband would be upset if I kept something like this from him. Plus, if he is violent, your husband needs to know that even he needs to be on the lookout for this guy. If you can help it don’t go anywhere alone for a while. And trust your gut. If something all the sudden feels off, listen!

  3. I also would encourage you to talk to your husband. It may be hard, but being open and honest makes life so much better. When your ex says things that you don’t want to hear, be upfront about it. Tell him, “I don’t like it when you talk to me like that.” It may make you uncomfortable, and if you’re like me, you might just clam up and say nothing, or let out an uneasy chuckle. Plan ahead how you will confront him, and pray for God’s wisdom and the words to say to defend yourself without retaliating.

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