Silence Is satans Handy Work

So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. Matthew 10:26

It took a long time to get here. A journey I didn't want to be a part of. Not the life or journey my parents had imagined as my mom rubbed her swollen belly or kissed my newborn cheeks. My heart wasn't intended to be broken or my four year old mind changed for good, but it happened. It happened to me and it happens to so many.

Discussing abuse makes people uncomfortable. All victims know this. I have been told, "Why did you share that?" "Why would you tell someone about that?"

When folks hear about my book, many eyes get wide and you can see the discomfort cross their face. Many don't want to know about it and they certainly don't want to be part of any ministry that deals with sexual abuse. It's too icky. It's not something they want to have to think about. It's too awful.

I agree. It is all those things and more.

Too bad some of us don't get that choice. Because it's there. The scar is there and it's permanent. No amount of laser treatment will fully remove it. Jesus healed it but He told me not to forget.

Don't forget because there are others who need to heal. Need to feel loved and to be understood. There's a need and it's huge. It could be a huge burden but Christ says His burden is light. My love for Jesus is a gift. My abuse is now a gift.

Yes, a gift.

Because my heart connects to those who will be told to be quiet. To shut up. To not shame the family. For those who will lose their family because they speak up. For those who think they can never be whole. For those hearts that just long daily for someone, just someone who loves and understands them. For someone to listen. To truly hear them.

My eyes can't turn away from it. My heart can't clam up and my mind cannot pretend it doesn't exist. My heart bleeds in agony over lost innocence and torment. The physical signs heal but the mental torment and anguish, they last and aren't easily broken.

The enemy wants to silence the abused. To keep her/him quiet. Silence breeds guilt, discontentment, and torture. Silence spreads the lies. Silence abuses another child. Silence cannot be tolerated. Silence is satan's handy work. He loves it.

Are you uncomfortable yet? Good. You should be. Sexual abuse should make every single person uncomfortable. Maybe you aren't called to help the abused. I get that. But never silence an abuse victim. The shushing further victimizes.

We didn't ask to be tortured and molested. We didn't ask to be threatened to be killed or beaten for someone's sick sexual gratification. We didn't ask to have this rolling around in our minds, taunting us with it's sickness.

God's word says to bring the darkness to light. That is how we will stop sexual abuse. You want to give a woman back a smidgen of what she's lost? Give her back her voice. Set her voice free!

Telling my story has been scary. It's taken me down some dark paths. Thank God for his flashlights. But it's been worth it. Every aspect of it. I wouldn't change it. I know that might sound crazy but it's the story God gave me. It's worth the hearts that have experienced miracles. Lives that thought they'd never move beyond the boulder that rides on the heart and feels permanent.

Because my story is the voice of millions. And it won't be silent.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. John 3:19

If you are someone you know has been abused, my book, How I Forgave My Molester may help. The paperback is only $5.49 - join the hundreds of women who are finding their freedom and regaining their voice!



  1. May God’s power continue to strengthen and guide you, my friend. I commend you for your passion to help others through your experiences and pray for God’s continued presence in your life as you carry out what you’ve been called to.

  2. Amen, amen, and AMEN! I was told to be silent by my abuser. For years I never said a word. For years, I got hurt. I wonder now, if I had said something, would she have followed up on her threats, or were they all just a bunch of smoke? Sadly, I didn’t understand at 5 and 6 years old that I had a voice. All I knew was that if I gave her what she wanted, she didn’t hurt me and she was happier. Why break that balance?

    Keep on, Melinda! You’re the best!

    • I’m sorry:( You know how I feel about that. Sadly, that is often what abused children think. It’s easier to do as they demand than to suffer the consequences of not.

  3. I think you’re very brave to get out there and tell your story and try to help others who have been through this. When working full-time, I encountered many abuse victims and almost every single one of them had been told that they should be quiet about it, almost as if they were the ones who should be ashamed – and my heart just broke for those clients of mine. I pray that resources like yours will help more people find healing.


    • Thanks Amy! I have always responded that it is NOT my shame to hide from. I did nothing wrong and I am not afraid to tell people that. It’s interesting how this crime is the one folks don’t want to talk about and don’t want the victim to talk about. If someone in my family were murdered, I could talk all I wanted about it but bring up sexual abuse and everyone wants to cover their ears and close their eyes. It’s never the fault of the victim and people NEED to hear that loud and clear!~

  4. And He is light…
    enough said.
    You’ve illuminated the darkness with His light.
    His light.
    His healing.
    His hope.
    Not shame…but beautiful….redemption.
    His love invading hurt.
    Sin–wiped out, cleansed by His sacrifice.
    What could be more beautiful?
    We have also experienced pain…the pain of a child born with a disease bound for death.
    What more could we ask…than a God who offers LIFE?

    You are precious in His sight Melinda.
    He gives peace like a river to my soul…praying that will be true for yours as well…

  5. You are an inspirational woman. Thank you for everything you’re doing!

  6. Bless you Mel for sharing, for breaking the silence, for seeking and finding your voice! Too often silence gives an assent (intentional or not), silence also traps us and the need for our silence from those who do not want to face the reality, the truth can be as damaging as anything our abusers did to us. No one heard us then, but by the Grace of God I won’t be silent now! Keep sharing your healing journey my sister…Bright blessings, Shanyn (

  7. Thank God for people like you who are willing to speak up for us. The least of these. The ones society wants to shame and quiet. Mel, you are empowering women and I am forever grateful for that!

  8. Someone told you not to talk about it? What is wrong with people? I’m glad you didn’t listen. I haven’t been abused but I can’t imagine telling someone that they can’t talk about it. That’s just messed up!

    • Jen, sadly that is more often true than not. One friend’s stepdad abused her and her mom’s response when she told was, “Why would he want you when he’s got me?” Folks just don’t want to deal with it when the abuser is someone they care about.

  9. Well, I just read this post. Which prompted me to get your book…on my Kindle! I know it is so hard for people to know the truth about this. But when light is shed… Satan flees. Looking forward to reading your story. When I actually started “talking” the responses I got from others ranged from denial to inability to hear. I was grateful when God gave me a few that had healthy and appropriate responses which allowed me to deal with the reality, receive grace and healing. Forgiveness is a continual process though…where he leads I will follow! Thank God for the healing and strength of our Savior! Thank you for your courage, Melinda! Well, should be downloaded by now! In His Grace, Dawn

    • Yes! I think people don’t realize that. It was apparent when I wrote an article about it here. 70×7 may not mean you have to forgive the same person for different things but maybe for the SAME thing over and over again! Thanks for always being so encouraging Dawn!

  10. Thank you for writing about a topic which makes people uncomfortable. Jesus made a lot of people uncomfortable, but He spoke openly anyway.

    I am so saddened when I hear of people trying to stifle or censor those who want to talk about their experience of sexual abuse. How this must add to the sense of aloneness. I am grateful that you and others have God to be your Companion through the dark memories.

    God bless you –

  11. This is where I’m at today, feeling Satan’s pull to silence me.. But as I sat here and read this I found myself crying silently because I know you are right. As an abuse survivor I know the hurt and sadness others feel and each time it makes me mad that I haven’t spoken up before. I’m with you in the ministry of helping others Thank you Mel for your strength to get the word out.

  12. mel thank you for being the voice of millions because rape should’t stay silent .my life has been broken and damaged by sexaul abuse I am still working through the effects .God is healing me I still have alot of work ahead of me .but God is good i know that with out him i wouldnt have come this far.mel please pray for me as i face each step .I know who God is and i know how powerful he is …. i have a wonderful husband 4 beautiful children who need a wife and a mother healed and free .. thank you for your courage and boldness to stand up for the truth !

    • Standing firm and praying with you! God will heal you! Keep trusting and keep working. It’s so worth it 🙂 Hugs to you my friend!

      • mel thank you for the hug and for the prayers …. yes it is worth it I have been working at this for 24 yrs and boy i see how far he has brought me ! God is our strength he is our joy and peace … mighty is his name ! hugs

  13. Thank you for linking this post up at Continue to use your voice and share your story. You are helping many women through your obedience. recently posted..Frequent Flier Club – Come Share Your Voice & Link Up

  14. I agree, Melinda. No one should be silenced. There is no healing in that. Thank you for being so open and honest.

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