I wasn’t going to write about this story, but it’s necessary. Because there is a side to it that isn’t being discussed. It’s the part that makes this story about Josh Duggar and sexual abuse completely irrelevant.
Abuse survivors are watching the public outrage and secretly thinking, good. Finally someone is outraged over this issue.
We’re angry because it reminds us how vulnerable our children are to predators because let’s face it, most predators are never turned into authorities by their families. *I’m generalizing about predators here, not talking about what did or did not happen with Josh Duggar.
But here’s the deal.
We can have righteous anger over this situation where his sisters were victimized. We should.
Does it really matter?
Unless those who are so angry over it stand up and actually DO something for abuse survivors, the anger means nothing. Nothing.
This story will die down and go away and we’ll still have sexual abuse victims who are not being heard. Whose voices have been trampled because no one will listen. Because the criminal will be protected and welcomed back into the fold of the family or the church under grace, while the victim is told to forgive and move on – if only it were that simple.
And the victim will be left wondering why they’re not important enough to be protected from this perp. This criminal who won’t face jail time or persecution and the victim is victimized again by the lack of protection.
So unless this public outcry produces something new from this story like; better sentencing, new laws, churches standing behind the victims instead of the abuser, family support of the victim instead of the abuser, then this story means absolutely nothing.
Sexual abuse victims need you. They need society to rear up and say, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” We need protection. We need laws that protect us.
We need the church to stand behind us and hold us up, until we heal and regain the strength to hold ourselves up again.
We need to be believed.
We need these criminals to serve jail time, instead of a slap on the wrist. They’ve robbed from us for a lifetime, they should get more jail time.
We need you to offer understanding and a listening ear, instead of a blank stare and uncomfortable body language that says you want to run.
We need you to take that outrage and focus it into doing something for us!
Don’t let this story mean nothing.
Make it matter.
Someone out there needs you and they need you to tap into your outrage and do something that matters.
*I do believe in forgiveness and grace – that’s why I wrote, How I Forgave My Molester – but there is a process to getting to that point and victims need to be respected enough to allow them to work through the stages to get to forgiveness. It can’t be demanded instantly. Their is a grieving process for the loss of innocence and violence forced upon us.
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