Dear Friend, Is Some Abuse Okay?

Dear Friend: Is Some Abuse Okay?Dear Friend,

I met the most handsome, amazing man a couple months ago. I think I’m in love. We’ve been on the most amazing dates. Seriously, he’s loaded. Two weeks ago we hopped on his private jet and flew to Disneyland for the weekend. We had a blast. We rode every ride including the kiddie rides, bought mouse ears, and ate our way through the park.

Don’t be disappointed in me, but yes, I gave him my virginity. And wow. I didn’t know how amazing it would be. Please don’t share that with anyone. You’re my best friend, so I’m telling you. I need to talk to someone. There are somethings I’m just not sure about. He likes to be a little rough. Last night he spanked me. Seriously, turned me over his knee like a child and spanked me. I haven’t been spanked since I was a little girl. Then he wanted sex. I cried. And he said he felt bad and he was playing around and it was a form of foreplay. But I’ll be honest, I felt kind of violated. Please, don’t freak out. He said he was sorry and I believe him.

The thing is, he wants to do more. He says he has a room in his apartment that is “off limits” until I’m ready. He asked me once if I’d be okay with him whipping me. I said no way. That doesn’t seem right and it sounds painful! Why would we add that to something that is so wonderful? I can’t talk to my mom about this because she would FREAK. Last week he left a bruise on my arm and I couldn’t go home for dinner Sunday night because I was afraid my parents would see it.

He’s been with a lot of women. Which means I’ve now basically been with a lot of people. I never imagined my first time would be with someone who has slept with so many women. I admit, I’m disappointed in that part of it. I resisted all the guys in college, but I couldn’t resist him. There is a pull to him, almost magnetic. I can’t turn back even if I wanted to.

I’ll be honest. I don’t think I want him to get rougher. It scares me. It does something weird to my insides. But if I don’t allow him to share this side of himself with me, he says he can’t stay with me. I feel like I’m addicted to him and at this point, I don’t know if I can let him go. I’m head over heels. He has such a hold on me, I think I could let him talk me into just about anything. And that alone scares me a little.

But he is not who you bring home to Mom and Dad. If my parents had an inkling of what’s been going on, they’d be devastated. And part of me doesn’t blame them.

Do you think it’s okay to stay if he treats me wonderfully in all other aspects? Please try to be open. I’ve never been happier in my entire life.

Your Friend, Who Is Head Over Heels In Love,

What advice would you give Anastasia?

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