For the past several weeks I have been suffering with severe anxiety over my husband. I can’t pinpoint what triggered it but my concern for his safety and life went from, what if something happens to him? To ,what if he dies and I am left alone for life and I didn’t love him enough while he was here and the kids and I will be homeless and I will miss him so much I might not be functional and my kids will be damaged for ever and, and, and….
My stomach clenched, breathing became difficult, while my heart rate increased. Frozen in fear.
God’s word says he has not given us an anxious spirit, or a spirit of fear, and He will take care of us. Yet, I was physically panicking and frozen at times, losing sleep, and not able to take my thoughts captive.
Do I need to see a doctor? Do I need anxiety medication? What is wrong with me? What if all of this is a premonition that something’s going to happen?
I prayed for help. I prayed for my husband and his safety. And I continued to worry.
A few weeks into this anxiety ridden inner turmoil, God spoke to me mid-story in a novel by Francine Rivers. The wife in the story had made her husband her God.
Aha! That is exactly what I had been doing. I was making my husband my own God. Yikes! While I adore my husband (I have seriously been blessed in this department), I have to trust God with all of my life, even the scary part of losing my beloved man.
Is there an area in your life where you haven’t fully surrendered to God? Do you suffer from anxiety and worry? Has God ever spoken to you in a unique way? Please feel free to share in the comments section below.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6