16 years ago today, I married my high school sweetheart. And for six years after that, I sometimes wondered if I’d made a mistake because I married an unbeliever. I honestly couldn’t see a future that had Christ in the center of our home.
I wasn’t exactly an exemplary Christian. I did my own thing as a young adult, while praying for change, help, healing, and rescue. That’s the American way, right? Do what you want and pray when things get out of control. And thankfully, God meets us right where we are.
Before our second son was born, my husband became a believer. Ten years ago, we started attending church. Together. As a family.
God’s been amazingly gracious to us. Our lives aren’t perfect now. We still argue about dumb things and struggle with life but we’re different.
I tell you this not to rub it in, if you are in a marriage where you are unequally yoked, but to give you hope. Keep praying. Keep seeking Him for your marriage.
The best advice I can give you, if your spouse doesn’t believe is this: Don’t Nag! Don’t beg your spouse to go to church. Don’t rub your spirituality in their noses. Don’t guilt trip.
Ask God to lead their heart to Him. That’s His job anyway, and He will do it with perfection. You continue what you are doing. If you Lord your Christianity over your spouse, I guarantee they will continue to run and harden their heart.
It’s not easy. I know, I’ve been there too. It’s lonely to sit in the church pew, alone. It’s sad when you want more for your family. I often prayed that God would bring faithful Christian men into my husband’s life and that he’d be open and listen. God did just that.
When it gets to you, get on your knees. Hang tough. You love them and want God to capture their heart. How much more does God want their heart?
I would love to pray over your marriage and your spouse. Please leave a comment below. *Comments do not auto publish here. If you would like to keep your message private, say so and I will not publish it. I have a team of women who will pray over your requests. If you would like public prayer, I guarantee more than I will be praying for you. *
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:1-7
Happy anniversary!
My comment when I was about a third of the way in was just going to be along the lines of “This gives me hope for my parents’ marriage” and then you went and said exactly that. My mum is a Christian – now a minister in the church of England – and my father is an atheist. I know it hurts her. I would love if you would pray for him & their relationship. Thank you.
Just me recently posted..26 February
I’m honored to! I’m sure that is tough for your mom. Keep praying! 🙂
Thanks so much Mel 🙂
Just me recently posted..26 February
I can relate to this so much. My husband and I been married 25 years! It’s been almost 4 years now and my husband is serving the Lord. Praise God! It took God changing me for him to see Christ is love! I remember praying for God to make my husband a Godly man.
I too was living in the world and went to church only with my children and no husband. It was rough and I did sometimes give up and fall completely out of church. But Gods grace is sufficient! I would pray for strength to get me through it and for God to keep a hold on me no matter what. Hes so faithful! I see my husband growing in Christ and it makes it all worth what I went through! Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa! Praise God that your husband is serving the Lord! Awesome!
Lisa, it’s hard not to give up sometimes! I love the hope your story gives as well 🙂 God is good!
Happy Anniversary, my friend!
Stefanie Brown recently posted..Up And Coming Changes…
Thank you, Stefanie!
Mel, I just loved this post and it really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing it.
I live in Sydney Australia. Australia has become a very atheist nation.
In October I will have been married 20 years to a wonderful, amazing, but agnostic man. His mother is agnostic, his father is an atheist. I was a fence-sitting Christian when we married, and I properly recommitted to Christ when we had been married about 8 years.
My two teenage kids (now 17 and 15) decided around the age of 12 that they didn’t have to come to church with me anymore, and so they don’t. I never nag my family about it. My family look on my Christianity and involvement in my church as “Mum’s hobby” sometimes accompanied by a bit of eye-rolling. A few of the husbands from church connect with my husband socially, but it doesn’t extend to more than the social aspect. I believe that God needs to speak right into his heart and mind.
I sit alone in church often. Although many in the congregation are friends, they have their own families to sit with. It’s very hard to sit alone. Sometimes the enemy says things to me like, “Why do you even bother coming to church? Your husband and kids are never going to come to church. They think Christianity is just some oldfashioned fairytale. Maybe they’re right and you’re wrong.” It’s hard to battle those words sometimes. I keep connected by getting involved in women’s activities and a women’s bible study group.
I would be so grateful for prayer (from anyone who would be willing to invest the time) for my totally wonderful but unbelieving husband and my two great teens. And for myself, for tenacity to continue to walk the faith walk alone, and for that ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ that I would so love to truly be!
Happy anniversary, Mel!
Steph
Praying with you, Steph!
Evening Melinda,
You visited my web site a year or so ago and I followed you back to your beautiful site, I enjoy it so. I would like to invite you to submit a post or re-post one such as your current blog to the web site http://christianwomenonline.net at one time several years ago it was a large well known Christian Women’s e-magazine, it has since sold to the people who have it now, and it is coming back to the forefront with a slightly different format. I would like to invite you to visit and see what you think about it. I am now one of the authors there and I re-post all of my writings on the site. I hope you find the time to check it out.
Blessings for your evening,
Rhea
Rhea Riddle recently posted..Hide and Refresh
Thank you for the offer. I will have to check it out. While i do not re-post my articles, I might be interested in writing fresh material if that is something being sought after. Thank you for stopping by!
Thanks for sharing this, and congratulations! Bright blessings!
Such a great topic. Thanks Melinda. And thanks for linking up with Faith Filled Friday. It’s a blessing to have you.
I somewhat understand what you mean. My parents are from different religions, but it never became an issue. They pray that each will hold fast to his belief, and that is what I think made the difference.
God is everything, without him your life wont’t become colorful as it is… Truly inspiring blog, just continue sharing the grace of God…
Wonderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Thanks
Grace is Messy recently posted..Grace is Messy