Worthless

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  Phil 4:13

Today’s challenge from Women of Faith was our favorite bad feeling, usually stemming from childhood. I think if you’ve followed my blog long, you could have probably guessed mine.

Worthless

Such an ugly, disgusting work. No one wants to feel worthless, yet, that is exactly my go-to feeling when something bad happens.

See, you’ll never amount to anything?

They hate you. That’s why they never say anything to you.

She didn’t have anything positive to say about your story because there was nothing worthy in it.

They’re not going to want to be friends with you. Because you’re fat.

See, I told you it was ugly. I have discovered that we do what we learned in childhood. I withdraw and torment myself. Because I am non-confrontational, it is really unlikely I will ever tell that person that I felt hurt or violated by something they’ve said or done.

This is where I have to learn to grab on to the truth. To focus on what is pure, lovely, right, noble, and admirable.

Because it’s easy to do? Um, no. Not even close. What I want to do, is retreat to what is comfortable, even if it is damaging.

These are the times I fall on my knees before the throne of grace and ask for mercy. I pray for peace and to let the evil thoughts go. They never lead to anywhere but misery and the pit.

Negative thoughts don’t push me forward, they don’t make me a better person, and they don’t please God. So I pray, each time it starts to take hold, I pray some more. I pray until it stops. I recite scripture until it’s under control.

It’s a choice. I can choose to wallow in the fact that someone doesn’t like me. I can meditate on negative speech spoken over my aching heart. Or I can choose to let go and let God. To give it to Him to carry.

I’m not strong enough to hold it but He is. My Daddy is a superhero. He can remove the mountains in my path with the flick of a finger. He’s better equipped to do the impossible, so I let Him. I let Him.

What is your go to bad feeling? 

Have you learned to take it hostage? To tie it up and throw it out with yesterday’s garbage? That’s all it is, you know.

You don’t have to let it take up residence in your life. There’s really no room for Christ and those yucky feelings you are harboring. Which one do you want to have victory?

Your Favorite Bad Feeling from Women Of Faith