I’m so saddened to hear of Whitney Houston’s death at 48 years old. I grew up learning my first dance routine to, How Will I Know, as a little girl.
My heart breaks when I hear of a death due to addictions, having grown up with an alcoholic dad (my stepdad) and watching first hand how it ripped our family apart, and ruined his life. There is something so dark in addiction that once it captures some people, they can never escape.
I know I have addict genes from my bio father’s side. Living with an addict as a kid and having my own heart broken over it, has kept me from touching drugs (yes, they were present as well) and knowing that my bio father (who is a murderer) and his family have addiction issues.
But if I’m honest, I’m not totally in the clear when it comes to addiction. My addiction of choice is one that is more easily accepted and often ignored in the world. It’s food. When my emotions run high or low, I turn to food. When I want to celebrate, I turn to food. When we plan a family outing, I think about the food.
For years I was thin, and secretly knew I’d likely get heavy. Now my frame shows the world what my struggle is. You can no longer hide fat once you get past a certain point.
As I watch the news and see the loss of a beautiful voice that touched so many lives, I think to myself, at least my family won’t find me overdosed in a bath tub. But really, I’m slowly killing myself and they may find me unable to do things with them or worse, dead from a heart attack of some other weight related issue.
What haunts me most, is leaving a legacy of eating for the wrong reasons. Passing on my addiction to my children. Do you struggle with addiction of some sort?
My weight loss journey – which I’ve never made public before. It’s slow and I haven’t committed like I should. (Added Oct 27, 2013)
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15
Powerful post Melinda. It is true that so many of us struggle with addictions and addictive personalities. I had alcoholism in my family, made the choice quite young to say away from the trap. I’ve gotten caught in others traps and struggle with finding my way. Being healthy for our children, showing them that not all addictions are headline ones like drugs, alcohol or sex is so important. Having strong faith and anchoring our families in faith is a good foundation, but we need to be active in creating those open conversations that keep addictions at bay – they live in secret. Bright blessings my friend…
Shanyn recently posted..An audience of One
Wow…you left me with goosebumps and tears…and no words. Yours have touched deep and left me really thinking about messages I may be unknowingly sending my own kids. Wow. Wow. Thank you for these powerful words today and a heart willing to share them.
Cindee Snider Re recently posted..Bleeding into Light
Very true about the need to be aware of addict genes in families. I’ve seen it first-hand with family. And yes, it’s something you have to talk about and can’t ignore.
Will you please clarify this statement in your post
“There is something so dark in addiction that once it captures someone people, they can never escape.”
Did you mean to say that -once it captures “some” people they can never escape-? The way it is now sounds kind of hopeless, when we know there is a way to escape when someone truly wants to, puts their trust in the Lord to help them, and then do what’s necessary to stay free.
Joan recently posted..Psalm 46:10
Yes, it’s supposed to be some people. Typo. Will fix it.
I cant believe shes dead RIP i will sing your song at the x-factor audition witney RIP.
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Lysa Terkeurst’s “Made to Crave” is an excellent way to let God release you from this food addiction (or any other addiction as well). So worth looking into!!
I have it. I was part of the pilot group for the study 🙂 My friends and I have done the dvd bible study and are going to do it again in the next couple months. I actually run the unofficial fan page on facebook for Made To Crave as well 🙂
Thank you for sharing your honest struggle. I struggle with food too so I totally understand. Good luck to you!
Your are a brave woman – you story is very relatable. I would love to have you write a guest post for my bog BbloomingWithJoy.com
Michelle Pohl recently posted..Guest Willy Nywening: The Story Behind the Story
Thank you, Michelle! I appreciate it. We can talk about guest posting. November will be a busy writing month as I participate in nano-wrimo and write a whole novel in a month 🙂