And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. Matthew 18:15
Spur of the moment conflict is really hard. I often find myself berating my own personality for not saying what I should have or could have. But it’s not a mistake that I get quiet when forced into an unexpected situation. It’s a divine gift.
It allows me time to think about whether or not I address the situation or let it go. It also provides me with the opportunity to not say something I will later regret. The few times I do allow myself to react impulsively, I have always regretted it. Almost always.
When I take the time to pray about a situation and my attitude and heart attached to it, I allow the Holy Spirit time to work. When God has time to work on our hearts and minds, miracles take place. Forgiveness doesn’t usually happen over night and if we can forgive a wrong against us before we address the issue there is room for love and grace to pour out of our mouths, rather than bitter bile.
Think back to a time where you were confronted by someone. If you were approached with love and gentleness, your spirit was more willing to listen and hear what the other person had to say. Now think of an instance where you were accosted by a rude and angry confrontation. Were you willing to hear this person out? Likely, the answer is no. Your defenses went up and your personal protective space was invaded causing you to throw up your walls as quickly as possible and then seal them off.
Is there an issue you might need to address with someone? If you are still feeling like a tiger on the prowl when the topic is brought up, you are not ready to confront the other person. If instead you feel like it’s time to let it go and move on, then you may be ready. I suggest proceeding prayerfully and with caution. There are some folks who cannot handle confrontation and no matter how gently you approach, they will lash back with claws and fangs. If this is a huge possibility find a willing third party to mediate (must be someone with no ties to either of you or one who can remain neutral).
God’s already got the situation under His control. You can trust how it turns out, whether good or bad. Don’t fear the future, God’s already there!