Too Cool To Know You

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10

The snub. We’re all familiar with the act of instant rejection that makes us feel as if we are invisible or worse, poo on a shoe. That look of disdain or a back being turned as we approach. It’s an ugly feeling but more so, it’s a really ugly act.

It’s one thing to experience out in the world but there’s a whole new level to it when it takes place within the church and/or Christian body of believers. We observed it as we searched for a new home church. It can be witnessed quite quickly as a new comer. It can be a group of people, the pastor and his wife, or the atmosphere in the entire church as you enter. Some speakers and authors can develop a haughty air about them as they become more well known as well.

But is that kind of snobbish behavior what the Lord would wish to see among us? Is that attitude what will draw others to a relationship with Christ or is it possible the snub could even be damaging to someone seeking?

What we need to realize, especially if we’re in any type of leadership or authority, is that we all start at the bottom whether it is in friendships, leadership, writing, speaking, as a believer, or being a pastor or pastor’s wife. Remember those days of feeling uncertain and shaky? The anxiety and thoughts of, “What if I say the wrong thing?”

For most of us we long to belong and be accepted. Stepping forward in obedience into a leadership role was not about ourselves but about loving others and longing to bring others to Christ. That should continue to be our focus and our actions should speak of that evidence. No matter how many times it gets trampled on and wrung out, our hearts must remain on our sleeves and available.

Once “the snub” starts to move into our hearts and attitudes, our ability to reach hearts for Christ will be stifled.

Are you still a humble servant? Think about your core group of friends, have you allowed anyone new into that circle? Would you allow someone new into it? Have you snubbed anyone recently, intentionally or unintentionally?

Spend some time alone with the Lord and ask him to show you any areas of your heart where you may have lost sight of humbly being a servant. I encourage you to make yourself aware of those who approach you and how you treat them.

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant [3] is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. John 13:14-16


  1. Oh humble heart stung and burned so many times. I feel your words and I am examining my heart for snubbery or snobbishness. I’ve been the outsider for so long it hardly seems possible to be anything but one. Perhaps I’m God’s little wilderness voice, and I pray that I will stay humble for Him.
    Shanyn recently posted..Rebuilding Walls

  2. Poo on a shoe..I couldn’t have said it better myself! I enjoyed reading this, definitely have witnessed those types of behaviors within every church I have attended including our present church 🙂

  3. Melinda,

    I enjoyed reading your post, and especially the line about, “We all long to belong.” And we all started at the bottom, that’s a good reminder for each of us.

  4. WOW! I think I needed to hear this today, Mel. Thank you so much for giving me food for thought…so much to digest and so many questions to ask myself. I would never want to move away from the original dream God planted in my heart so many years ago. Thank you for sharing this great post!
    Debbie Dillon recently posted..The Art of Living While Youre Living

  5. I agree, Melinda. There have been times when someone might have said I was snubbing them, but the only time I ever really avoid people is if they are being abusive or they have a total lack of accepting advice when all they do is complain all the time. There are certainly times we get impatient with one another, but if we have not love, we’re resorting ourselves to noise pollution.
    Sisterlisa recently posted..Spring Homeschool Carnival

  6. Oh I know the feeling of not feeling welcome at a new church, but once I found the home I now have things started clicking and moving in an even smooth direction.
    Debi recently posted..Where my heart is

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