“He’s like having an extra child.” Sue nudged her husband Sam with her elbow. “He never hits the laundry basket with his clothes and always leaves his towel on the bathroom floor.” Sam’s face contorted into an angry frown and he looked away from the group. Sue didn’t notice. Our group leader interrupted as she began to speak again. By asking a new question the discussion moved to another topic.
Your husband can and should be your best friend, but there is one sentence that will send him into the fiery pits of fury faster than anything else you can say. Learn to avoid it and you can have a happier home and stop angry conflict in it’s tracks.
The One Sentence You Should Never Say To Your Husband?
Any sentence that begins like this:
- You shouldn’t have eaten so much.
- You don’t need to watch the game.
- Why do you always throw your laundry on the floor?
Do you see a pattern? Any sentence that sounds like you are his mommy should be avoided. You’re not is mother. And you shouldn’t talk to him like you are!
It will make him angry and fast.
If you notice your man walking away from you in anger, pay attention to your word choices. Did you demean him? Disrespect him?
His walking away is his way of taking control of his own emotions, so he doesn’t say something he’ll regret. Give him some space and when you’re both calm, apologize for being disrespectful. Then see if you can find a way to discuss the issue at hand and come to a resolution where you both feel heard and respected. *It should go without saying, respect is a two way street in marriage.
Do you know what makes your husband feel disrespected? Does he know what triggers you to feel unloved? Have you had these discussions? If not, now might be the time before your next intense discussion. What would you add to this discussion? Tell me in the comments.
*Now it should go without saying that I am talking about healthy relationships here and in no way condoning abuse. No one deserves to be abused. If you are in danger, please seek help. The National Domestic Hotline is always available. Or you can call them at 1−800−799−7233
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