The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:23-24
Do you remember the first time you met your your spouse? There was something that sparked between the two of you that drew you to each other and a friendship was born.
The foundation for any relationship should be friendship – and our relationship with Christ but we’ll get to that later. We tend to become friends with those we share something in common with. When you pull back the years and layers of your marriage, do you still have the basics of friendship?
Genesis 2:24 tells us that we will leave our father and mother and become one flesh. This has always been explained to me in a sexual way but what if it’s more? Can we not also become one flesh, so immersed in the other that no one can come between us? The ultimate goal of a marriage is to be completely united so that none can penetrate your relationship. The best way to get and keep a relationship on track is to be friends.
It’s easy to veer off course isn’t it? To forget the basics of friendship with our spouse. Years of living together can start to get under your skin if you let it. Little things irritate us, the big things really tick us off.
It really bugs my husband if the living room and kitchen don’t stay picked up, while I can overlook it most of the time – I know we’re a little backwards here. And there are things he does that bug me. If we start to focus on these things, and trust me we do, we start to tear down our very foundation. The more we do it, the easier it becomes to dig away at one another and the less time we spend focusing on what matters.
It’s not going to kill me to keep the living room and kitchen picked up but by ignoring the simple request, I may be allowing it to chip away at my marriage. Not worth it. The divorce rate in America is reported to be 41-50% depending on where you go for statistics. I don’t plan to be part of that statistic. Do you?
So today, let’s focus on being friends with our spouse. Show your husband the same respect and kindness you’d give one of your girlfriends. Overlook the small stuff. Really, will our fingers fall off if we have to put the lid on the toothpaste and take 2 seconds out of our day, again?
If your marriage is in a rough spot and your don’t know how to even be friends, pray, and then try to find one area where you have common ground and start from there.
Here are some questions to get some conversations going. Some may be silly but how long has it been since you’ve asked these kinds of things? Perhaps back when you were first dating?
What are the three kindest things anyone has ever said to you?
If you could spend one whole day with anyone in history, who would it be?
What is one thing you wish you had more time for?
What is one day you wish you could live over again?
Questions from, Now We’re Talking by Robert and Pamela Crosby.
What advice would you give on rekindling a friendship with a spouse?
Answer Saturday’s Poll Question: Does your husband attend church with you? Does he enjoy it?