Last week I let Satan and his lies beat me up. He lied and I bought it hook, line, and sinker. I try to prepare myself for his attacks, knowing they are coming but I still somehow allow the noose to get tighter and tighter until I feel like I’m going to hang myself. I broke. For the first time ever, I let those thoughts take me to a pretty dark place.
I sought help and I am fighting back! At least each time he takes me down, the time gets shorter and shorter as to how long I stay there. I’m not staying in the pit. I will do what ever it takes to stay out of it for good.
I’m okay with what has happened. It keeps me humble and seeking the Lord. I’m not one to get real big on myself, I mean, I know who I am. If God works all things for good, then let Him work this for good! I’m game!
Without certain life experiences, we can’t help anyone else. When the flies disperse from the crap, there will be some gold nuggets left behind.
Are you struggling with depression or something else? I would love to be your prayer warrior! Leave a comment.
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
Hallelujah! Isn’t it awesome how God is there to pick us, hug us & get us back on our feet? I’m so thankful that we’ve learned to lean on him rather than wallowing in that pit, as we both know we’re so very good at. Please feel free to stop by: Don Tolman Self-Care Revolution
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i struggle with depression, and i know what you mean. It’s like there are days that i just give up and allow satan to just bombard me with lies and soon I’m just wallowing in the mud of defeat and guilt.
In my head I know that I am not the only one struggling with depression, but why do I feel all alone at church struggling with it? We’ve been going to this church for about year, and everyone is awfully nice, but it just seems if I were to just tell them my darkest fears and sins and how I do get times of depression…I’d feel like they think I’m possessed or crazy!
I don’t even know why I want to share my struggles with someone, maybe it’s just to hear them say “you’re not crazy, here let’s pray.” How do you conquer this stupid thing of shame and guilt and depression cycle?
Oh I feel your pain. If you spend any time on this site you will see this is and has been a constant struggle in my life and it does get old, doesn’t it? Let me say it, you are not crazy, let’s pray. I am praying for you. I sometimes wonder if those of us who are afflicted with this suffering, are those who might make a serious impact for Christ. So Satan keeps us down, locked w/i our own personal prisons by filling us with lies. If you look through the bible, you will see David was filled with depression. He was used by God in mighty ways but he also messed up big time and yet, God still used him! AND YET! Two of my favorite words because God shows us over and over again how he redeems and redeems! Please come back and visit. I think you have given me an idea for a series.
I am depressed, I am in that pit. I’m not as bad as I have been in the past but I am so tired of falling in it again. Can I just please find some way to stay out in the daylight this time? Finally? I am so broken inside. I am hurt and afraid and the words my father used on me seem so true, useless.. I feel unwanted and that is silly I have people who care about me? I just don’t feel it, there is a quote about that that I wish I could remember? Your feelings are still how you feel..
I was at a families anonymous meeting last night and the group leader put his hand on my shoulder and I just instantly went on the defensive. I felt like I was holding him at gun or knife point, where do those thoughts come from? I am afraid to pray because I have had those thoughts interrupt my prayers, how can that be? My brother says to just keep reading my bible and pray. He has broken his addiction, so I think he knows what he is talking about and I want to do that but I am AFRAID to and then I get angry and I just want to say you know what? forget it. nevermind. Well I have said that to him, but he knows I don’t mean it I just need to get it out of me. He says he’d rather I say it to him then my husband or kids so I did but I’d rather not say it to anyone? What do I do with all of this anger? I so need help. I want to call my brother again but I think he must be tired of me. I am tired of me.
Oh Amy, my heart aches for you. I will be praying for you. It’s very hard to break away from our past. Satan will keep you there for as long as he can. Tell your fears to God. My friend and I have been talking about this, how we run to people first when something happens instead of going to God first. For some of us, it can take a lot of practice to call God instead of picking up the phone and calling a friend when something goes wrong. Hang in there. If you are seeking Him, He won’t let you down.
I am so confused.
In many of your posts you suggest going to counseling or asking someone to pray or talk to you.
I was supposed to call the church about counseling yesterday but I could not do it. I just don’t even want to try, call the church and talk to them, call the number they give me, try to find a time that will work for an appt., going to the appts. It is such a struggle! I have quit going to counseling every time. And so here I am; no better. Read your bible and pray. Well, Okay I did read my bible and I did pray and then I got mad. and then when I had decided I wasn’t going to call him, because I don’t think he wants to talk to me because I can’t imagine why anyone would I drank. at least that helped with the panic attacks and I got some sleep.
Reading back over all of this today, I think I trust my brother more than I trust God. I think it’s possible he would still want me to call him. I don’t think I will have the bad thoughts when I talk to him, I never have. So if I have to get to God by going through my brother for a while? Until I can figure out how to get there on my own? Then I should do that, or call the church or maybe both.
My point wasn’t about not ever going to someone else. It was to go to God before you go to another human. Ask for discernment. God uses people all the time to help others 🙂 I’m not an expert. I can only speak from my own experience. I know it’s hard to ask for help. When I’ve gone to counseling, I had to remind myself how I felt after the appt. Always better. I’m a venter. I have to talk it out. It’s how I process things. And finding the right person who can point you in the right direction of healing can be a challenge. Your first few visits won’t be easy but it gets better. But if you really feel like it’s a bad match, keep looking until you feel comfortable. It takes time.
Okay, that helps, thank you!