Because I Am Just A Girl Part 1

I’m 10 years old and alone. Because my mom left and Dad’s at work. My brother’s at the babysitter’s and that leaves me all alone again with my cat and the dogs. I turn on the radio because silence is scary. The only thing on tv is Oprah. I race up the stairs to my bedroom and search for the last 50c from my babysitting job and walk up the road to the grocery store where I buy two candy bars because I’m bored and I’m feeding a monster that’s not my stomach.

When I arrive home I head back up to my bedroom and flop onto my water bed and listen to the liquid under me slosh back and forth. My built in shelves are lined with food I purchased with my money, including yogurts because I don’t know that they’re supposed to be refrigerated. I never know if I’m going to be allowed to eat what’s in the cupboards or if Dad will remember to get something for dinner. If I ask if my brother’s been fed dinner, the roommates will accuse of me of trying to be the boss, which I’m clearly not. Because I’m just a little girl. The alcohol clouds their ability to hear or see my sincerity. Because I’m a disturbance to their inebriated stupor. So I stay in my room and hope that if I stay quiet and invisible, they’ll forget I’m here tonight…

Blessings,

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