I’m A Bit Of A Control Freak

woman letting go of control

Learning to let go of control.

I admit it, I am a bit of a control freak in some areas. I like to be the boss of me. My brother and I have a running joke. If one of us is being bossy – which is normally done in a joking manner – we reply with, “I do what I want!

I want to control my children. My desire is that their behavior is under my control, which of course, it’s not. This week my 16 year old had a bit of a melt down in the presence of his doctor because he had to get a shot for our trip to Haiti – we thought he’d had them all so this was unexpected. It was a little embarrassing and I wanted him to stop the behavior. I wanted him to stop because it made me worry the doctor thought I was a bad mom. Oh yeah, I made it about me for a few seconds.

And then I remembered how my boy’s body reacts to stress and medical procedures. Instead of getting anxious and having his heart race like most of us, his body shuts down. His blood pressure drops and he passes out. The poor kid had one bad concussion from fainting in the past.

As I looked at my towering 6ft son, I watched the color drain from his face and I tuned into what was really going on. He was scared. The idea of being jabbed with a needle makes him come completely undone. Instead of wanting him to change his behavior, I let it go. I encouraged him to close his eyes and not think about the immunization. It was over in seconds.

We sat for almost a full half hour afterwards while we awaited his color and body to return to normal.

My initial reaction to his behavior was all about me. My own selfish motives to look good, almost overpowered my mind’s ability to check myself and realize the reason he was reacting so out of character.

Isn’t that often a reason we want to control a situation or a person? It makes us feel better. If I am fretting over myself and my needs, I am not pleasing God. I may even be dishonoring someone else in the process.

My purpose is to serve God. If my reactions are all, “Me! Me! Me!” I am failing to give God the glory.

What areas do you struggle to control? How do you react when a situation arises where you feel out of control?

Our study this week:


You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. Ephesians 4:22-23





Photo credit: graur razvan ionut at Free Digital Photos

Linking up with Melissa Taylor Bible Studies


  1. I had a similar experience when my daughter was 12. She was hysterical about getting a vaccine. There was no calming her, but I had her get the shot anyways. I held her and prayed over her. Her fear came from a friend who’d had a horrible outcome after a vaccine, not the same one my daughter was getting. We look back and say we BOTH could have acted better. I could have put the shot off until another visit, and she could have used her words.

    • That is another reason for his reaction. Someone’s dad told him he’d had the same series of shots we need for this trip, and his arm ached for weeks after. So that added to him stressing out. 2 days later, he realizes I was right πŸ˜‰ Hoping that helps when we go back in for the booster in 6 months.

  2. My wife struggles with control, so much so that she will walk in and re-do cleaning I’ve already done, though even she admits that it’s a perfectly fine job. When our youngest daughter is even remotely misbehaved she wants to leave public places because people will think badly of us.

    We pray together regularly about it and I know she’s privately asking God for the victory over it.

    I’ll add you to the prayer list too.
    Ajay Pollarine recently posted..Friday Poem: Visions At Midnight

  3. You — hit– me — upside— the –head & heart with this! Fantastic blog!!!!!! I appreciate just how you put the honest words right out there – these words help to understand how we process “life” and what /why we hold onto things;
    THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!!! whoot woooooot! ☺☺☺

  4. Making it about me… oh, I do that. Surely they mean something about me when they do x or y or z? Thank you for sharing!

  5. Teresa (OBS small group leader)

    . Melinda I don’t have kids but I do try to control my friends and family so that they do not reflect negatively on me. I have learned to accept them for who they are thankfully. Thank you for being so honest.

  6. Mel–
    Thank you SO MUCH for participating in the blog hop. Praying for all of us as we learn to stop trying to control and start trusting God. Have a great weekend and remember to LET. IT. GO. πŸ™‚
    {Hugs} Karen Ehman

  7. Your post made me take a step back and think, that I’ve been looking at situations the wrong way…all these years! So, I’ve placed your question “Isn’t that often a reason we want to control a situation or a person?” in my memory bank.


    • Thank you, Tammy. God gets all the glory for waking me up when I’m doing something that doesn’t bring Him glory! Your comment made my day πŸ™‚

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