I admit it, I am a bit of a control freak in some areas. I like to be the boss of me. My brother and I have a running joke. If one of us is being bossy – which is normally done in a joking manner – we reply with, “I do what I want!”
I want to control my children. My desire is that their behavior is under my control, which of course, it’s not. This week my 16 year old had a bit of a melt down in the presence of his doctor because he had to get a shot for our trip to Haiti – we thought he’d had them all so this was unexpected. It was a little embarrassing and I wanted him to stop the behavior. I wanted him to stop because it made me worry the doctor thought I was a bad mom. Oh yeah, I made it about me for a few seconds.
And then I remembered how my boy’s body reacts to stress and medical procedures. Instead of getting anxious and having his heart race like most of us, his body shuts down. His blood pressure drops and he passes out. The poor kid had one bad concussion from fainting in the past.
As I looked at my towering 6ft son, I watched the color drain from his face and I tuned into what was really going on. He was scared. The idea of being jabbed with a needle makes him come completely undone. Instead of wanting him to change his behavior, I let it go. I encouraged him to close his eyes and not think about the immunization. It was over in seconds.
We sat for almost a full half hour afterwards while we awaited his color and body to return to normal.
My initial reaction to his behavior was all about me. My own selfish motives to look good, almost overpowered my mind’s ability to check myself and realize the reason he was reacting so out of character.
Isn’t that often a reason we want to control a situation or a person? It makes us feel better. If I am fretting over myself and my needs, I am not pleasing God. I may even be dishonoring someone else in the process.
My purpose is to serve God. If my reactions are all, “Me! Me! Me!” I am failing to give God the glory.
What areas do you struggle to control? How do you react when a situation arises where you feel out of control?
Our study this week:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. Ephesians 4:22-23
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