Revealing a secret can often times give us a sense of relief, even if it’s just writing a letter we won’t send or admitting to something we want to deny. These are all reader submissions *
To my dearest little man,
I am sorry that I grabbed you the way I did when you were climbing the little house at church. I was afraid that you would try to jump off, and end up hurting either yourself or others. I realize now that I should have gotten a solid hold on you and not just your shirt, but it was the first thing I could really get a grip on. I promise that I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I love you beyond words; I hope that you know that. Please forgive me. I have and always will love you like no other child. You are very special to me. Without you, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be alive right now. You and your sisters are what kept me going when all I wanted to do was die. I love you, buddy. I hope that you know that and love me enough to forgive me.
I wish you would have believed me when I told you your husband was abusing me. Instead, you acted as if it were my fault. Like I had come on to a grown man as a little girl. Do you really think a little girl even knows how to do that? You were so desperate to be loved, you chose him over me. You chose broken love over your children and for that, I’m very sad. I want so much more for you. I know you are broken just like I am. It’s too bad we can’t be broken and heal together. I can’t talk to you Mom. You can’t be part of my life as long as he is there and you can’t acknowledge that what happened was sick and wrong. I can’t get better if I do, Mom. I have to heal. I have to protect myself and now my children. I love you, Mom. I do. I wish you were part of my life and healthy. I just keep praying…