I have often times in my life been asked, “How did you know?” There is something obvious to me, at least with women, that I almost always pick up on. I can’t tell you exactly what it is. Mannerisms, facial expressions, attitudes, or what they say, that raises the red flag in my heart and tells me, this woman was sexually abused as a child.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not psychic or anything and I’m sure there are those I’d never know about. For some reason, God often peels back the scales of my eyes and allows me to pick up on this when I am around other women. While I hate having this in common with these women, I have felt very strongly that God has called me in some way to be involved with women who have suffered through this horrendous crime. While I have a few ideas on how to do this, I am waiting on the Lord to open those doors, should He decide to do so.
I want to empower women to tell the truth. Often times, we are told that we should not share that with others. I completely disagree. I did not do anything wrong and if that person is humiliated by what they did, that is too bad. They should be. Children do not ask to be sexually abused and they should never be asked to keep that dirty secret. It is not their secret to keep.
If we could just quiet ourselves enough to truly listen when someone speaks, I think so many would pick up on more than what is actually being said. When someone is overly aggressive in how they relate to people, take a second look. Maybe they appear to be a very negative person. Again, take a second look. I guarantee you there is more to their story than what you see on the outside. Maybe it’s not abuse of any sort but usually, there’s something there.
I don’t go around saying, “Guess what happened to me?!” to everyone I meet. Don’t get me wrong. This is not a metal or badge I flaunt. Talking about any of this on my blog is the most public arena in which I have shared.
Why? Because my own personal experience is that when I share my story, other women feel empowered and share their very personal stories! I have had several close friends tell me they have never told another living person! That is an honor for me. Though a sad honor because I would love more than anything for this to never happen to another person.
I also talk about this subject because it needs to be brought out of the darkness. I want to rob the power sexual abuse holds! Sexual abuse comes from Satan. If we do not bring the darkness to light, it continues to lie, torment, and abuse the victims.
Victims continue to abuse themselves mentally with what has happened to them. They will blame themselves; living in shame that does NOT belong to them! I have bought many of the lies whispered to me but this is one that I have always refused to accept or tolerate. I won’t take responsibility for someone else’s sickness. And if I am speaking to you now dear friend, neither should you!
When we finally speak the truth, God lifts a heavy burden from our shoulders. What Satan meant for evil, God can use for good.
It still hurts. It still sucks. We do not have to be held in chains and bondage to our victimization. It doesn’t have to be a life long sentence. If we are willing to do even the tiniest bit of work, God will take it the rest of the way! It is possible to stop hiding the truth and shame and live in freedom and peace. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20
I will be sharing my story as a series in the next few coming months. God’s done amazing things for me and I want to share them. I believe He has good things in store for his brokenhearted children.
Sweet, sweet sister in Christ, there is healing! I promise you that God can put a healing balm on your tormented heart if you let Him. You can be free!
* If you would like prayer or someone to talk to, please send me a message via my contact Mel form . Personal comments will auto publish to the blog. I look forward to hearing from you!
Part 2 – Confronting My Abuser
PS – This is a repost from melindatoad.com but because of it’s importance, I am republishing it with a new date so that others will see it. I pray that it will help even just one woman.
I’m happy to say that I wasn’t abused. I can’t imagine the pain that would be. I just can’t.
Have a blessed day and thanks for stopping by. 🙂
thanks so much for stopping by, and for sharing, i’m SURE you have helped someone out there
You are 100% correct in this post. Sometimes, when you share your story with others, it helps them to open up and share their own story and unburden their hearts. Women keep things like this bottled up inside and it does nothing more than steal their spirit. Talking to others like them, who can understand and relate, definitely does a lot to help heal the wounds and realize they are not alone; but mostly, they should not be ashamed!
Love & Hugs…
Daily Reflection recently posted..The Joy Continues
Thank you! My goal is to set women FREE 🙂
Mel
You are so right that it’s no secret – at least not ours – It wasnt our fault- it was the abusers. Hi, I’m Debi and I am just now starting to heal and its like scripture says when you seek you will find. Because now that I have started healing, I am finding several others who have been through it who can not only show me the way but support me while I’m on this journey. My story is found on out of the shadows. (It’s not graphic- if you are wondering) Hope you stop by.
Debi recently posted..Chapter four Innocence lost- part one
There’s something in my heart that being touched by your inspiring words. I was reading and I can’t stop reflecting to myself each momentum that you have delivered your story. God is so good because He made something for a reason that people must face or overcome for us to be strong and lead us to His way.
Welcome Rachel! So glad to have you here 🙂
mel I have been sexually abused more than once .I have been told by many not to talk about it just let it go put it behind . but i have never listened to them because i know its in facing the abuse that brings healing .If we live in denial than there won’t be any healing.It is very painful and scary to face the abuse i was not just sexually abused but had a father who abused me for 19 yrs of my life in ways that are very horrific.but it’s by God’s mercey ‘im where I am today .there is nothing wrong with sharing the abuse .but I know when that pain and fear comes I run to my father in heaven who sees and knows everything.as I run to him and cry out he hears and gives me peace.mel it is a hard thing and it takes time to heal .thank you for being honest about your abuse for the courage to talk about the abuse .your blogs are such a blessing to me keep them coming … hugs
mel when i wrote that part about it being painful and scarey I didnt finish .I meant to say was that yes it is painful and scarey but when we run to God and trust in his love ,he gives us peace and then we are free from the hold of abuse free from the lies that have bound us .the more we run to him the more we know that God would never leave us he would never forsake us .we start to see his love for us his compassion towards us …
Absolutely! I’m so glad you don’t remain silent! I’ve never kept it a secret but I know so many do and I am glad to encourage them to speak up.