Eliminating the Drama Queen/King

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Many months ago I received  a comment on my blog that had to do with the fact that I write in a way that can’t be argued with (it had to do with the sexual abuse topic) and that my comments policy doesn’t allow it here. My first thought was, why do you need to argue about things all the time? How does that show your light to the world if you are combative and always ready for a battle of words?

I would soon come to find out that this individual thrived on arguing and controversy. They wrote in a way to antagonize other “fellow” believers into debating and arguing. I imagined this person as the roaring lion looking for whom they could devour. That kind of constant confrontation is not for me.

We all know someone like this. That person that always wants to debate everything. They bring up subjects to prove that they are right and are often not enjoyable to be around. And they are almost always upset with someone else for “doing them wrong”. The drama queen/king rarely, if ever, takes responsibility for their actions or sees clearly how their interactions with others are the cause for their own unhappiness.

So how are we to deal with them?

That depends on how much of it you can tolerate. Have you reached the point of not being able to handle it any more? Or is there a point where you can say something to the individual?

If you’re not to the point of cutting off the relationship, you can try sitting down with them and explain how you feel about the constant confrontations and arguing. If it’s adding stress and anxiety to your life, be honest and tell them. Be sure to express how much you love and care for them but their behavior makes it hard to want to be around them.

Always go into a situation like this with prayer. Ask for guidance and the right words. Prepare for how the conversation may go, both good and bad. What is the worst case scenario and the best?

A strong strand throughout the bible stresses that you are to give to needs and put limits on sin. ~ Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend

It is very hard to confront someone, especially someone you love. Don’t go into it lightly. A decision has to be made. Is the relationship causing upset in your life constantly? If so, it needs to be dealt with.

If the discussion doesn’t go well, you may need to say something like, “I’m sorry you feel this way but in order for me to live a happy life, I need to distance myself from this relationship for a while.” Sometimes, we have to cut those people from our lives completely in order to be healthy. It’s not fun but it is a healthy boundary.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

 Do you struggle with a drama queen/king in your life? What have you done to keep healthy boundaries with them?

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