Don’t Let Others Define Who You Are

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Notice how that verse says we are a new creation in Christ. In Christ. As in, not in the girl next door, that woman at church, or anyone else.

It is so easy for us to fall into the trap of comparison. There are blogs I don’t even read because I walk away from them thinking, I can never live up to that.

Years ago, my husband and I went to Marriage Encounter. One couple shared that the wife, in their very long marriage, never said no to sex. Ever. I remember sitting in that room, knowing my husband was thinking, wow! He was. And I sat there wondering how that was possible. Then I began to compare myself as a wife…

I have a friend who has a very large family. When we would go on women’s retreats, she spent a great amount of time missing her kids and husband. Many times we were told how she doesn’t need a break from her children. Ever. And of course, that led me down the road of comparison. Am I a bad mom because while I might miss them a little bit, I need the time apart? Am I bad mom because I don’t miss them a ton? Or because I need the break and I enjoy it when I get it?

We have to stop comparing ourselves. We weren’t born to be like that girl next door. God made one of her and one of me for a reason.

Let’s stop comparing our inside yuck with another person’s polished up outside. You are more than welcome to glean from someone else’s advice if you feel you need to improve in an area but don’t let someone else’s personal bench mark make you feel inadequate. And when it does strike a chord with you, go to the Lord with it and ask Him to reveal where and how He wants you to change.





  1. Mel, your open heart is an encouragement and strength for surely many must feel the way you do much more often than we are willing to acknowledge. Admitting is a great step to overcoming and walking in the promises God has for us personally. Too frequently we are moved from our place of peace to insecurity borne of comparison, fooled by the outer beauty. May we have eyes to see only Jesus, Christ in us the glorious One.
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