Ok. Soooo, say that you have been abused. How do you deal with the temptations of repeating it? As stupid as it sounds, abused people often end up becoming the abusers. How do you break that chain?
~ Stuck in the Cycle ~
Dear Stuck in the Cycle:
This is the hardest question that’s been asked of me yet. I really had to pray about this answer because my abuser continued the cycle with me and several other girls. The first thing that I would say is mandatory, is to seek professional counseling from someone who specializes in sexual abuse. Second, if you feel a draw to children and to perpetuate the abuse again, then you need to remove the opportunities to abuse another child. That means, while you have those impulses, you should not allow yourself to be around children and you should never under any circumstances be left alone with them.
Now this may surprise those who have not experienced abuse but I have had many grown women tell me that as survivors of sexual abuse, when their hormones were raging as teens, they feared and may have even contemplated sexual abuse on a child. They were able to resist that urge. Many of them were believers and they took it to the Lord. Those feelings eventually went completely away.- And for those wondering, no this was never one of my issues but it certainly did pose problems with my seeking male attention as a teen.
Abuse cycles continue because instead of resisting those urges, people give into them. Right now you have the power because you are recognizing it for what it is and seeking help. PLEASE, don’t stop here. Because you sought this site and advice, I know you don’t want to continue this abusive cycle. But what little bit of advice I can offer isn’t enough. Seek Him, seek help, and please be honest about it so that others can help you.
I want you to think about how you felt being violated as a child and let that sink in. Would you ever want to make another child feel that way? Remember those haunting questions?
Why would you allow that God?
Wasn’t I important enough? Loved enough?
Why couldn’t I have been saved?
What would I really be like if this hadn’t happened to me?
Will this always haunt me?
How could you?
Don’t rob another child of being who God created them to be. You were robbed of your innocence but you don’t have to continue this cycle. It can stop with you!
Do you have any advice for Stuck In The Cycle? I realize this is a very touchy subject. Your first gut response maybe to attack but please refrain from it – those kinds of comments won’t be published anyway. Coming forward and admitting to something like this is HUGE. So let’s give REAL advice and love. How will they know we are Christians? By our love.