It’s the words that spew forth. The anger that boils. And the taunt that soon follows.
Not good enough.
Because I am seeking daily; sometimes moment by moment. Learning to be different but often falling back into that which feels natural to the flesh.
I know I’m being watched. Being judged. Because I’m a believer and that translates into others often thinking that I am to be perfect. No room for error. No stumbling.
Or that I somehow think I am perfect or better than others. But I’m not. And I know it down to my core.
The one who searches my heart and chases after my soul has found me. And I have found Him.I follow behind, tripping along, but following nonetheless.
Because I want the salvation He offers.
The relentless hope-filled love.
The kind that I can’t give but fully receive.
And sometimes that is all I can do. Lay at His feet and bask in the glow that I don’t deserve.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2