I miss my Christian friend. We have so much in common and our children love to spend time together. Unfortunately she is involved in a very time intensive volunteer world that is keeping her away from her children, her friends (outside that world) and even though we’ve talked it doesn’t seem to get through.
I’m praying for her but I don’t know, should I sit down and have a real heart to heart about this with her or just leave it to God? I know we are told to speak to each other when we see a need for change, and as lovingly as I can, I have tried in a round about way.
As soon as she needs something she’ll call, that’s how it seems to go. I’ve never understood how someone can ‘fight’ for a friendship. Any help?
~ Fighting for Friendship ~
Dear Fighting For Friendship:
I understand your frustrations and longing for your friend. It seems most good friendships go through some ups and downs and changes.
Have you told her you miss her? Then I’d want to know if her volunteering is a problem to her husband? If it’s not, then it may be best to remain quiet about your feelings about her volunteer work and the time she’s committing to it. You likely know her and her family well enough to know if it’s causing an issue or not.
Can you invite her over for coffee or something else you two used to do together? If you can get some time with her, maybe then you can approach her and let her know how much you miss her and maybe even ask her how all the time she spends volunteering affects her family. She may have found something that she enjoys so much, she can’t see it causing problems in other areas. Does it make her feel fulfilled or like she’s making an important difference?
Pray diligently over it. Ask God to show you if you need to say anything to her at this time. He’ll direct your path!
*Dear Mel is an old column I used to write and is no longer available to submit questions. You can always email me though!