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How I Forgave

How I Forgave My Molester
Dear Friend,

First, let me say how sorry I am that we are meeting under these circumstances. I wouldn’t wish a past of sexual abuse on my worst enemy. I am very thankful you are here and taking the first steps to heal.

Do you ever wish you had a magic wand to erase what happened to you?

Stop feeling angry with your abuser, your past, and yourself.

Stop waiting to let go, feel better, and move forward.

You are wasting your life allowing your past to rule your future. And it no longer needs to be this way.

Take your power back.

Learn the steps to move forward and leave your baggage behind.

Find out how hundreds of women have learned to heal and be set free from their past abuse.

Now YOU can step into tomorrow with a heavy burden lifted from your shoulders.

Don’t put it off another second. You were made for more. The creator wants you to be free. He wants you to move forward and enjoy life again.

Thank you for allowing me on this journey with you. It may not be easy work, but it is worth every bit of it!

You are worth fighting for!

Click on the book cover to purchase. Ebook is only $0.99 or $5.49 for the printed version!

* And if you find your peace through this process, won’t you come back and share with me? Comments are not auto-published so you can rest assured I will be the only to see it unless you state otherwise. Read Testimonies about How I Forgave My Molester.

Blessings,

Mel signature

 

How I Forgave My Molester

36 Comments

  1. I love the little piece you shared. It seems as if you and I have talked and you know my thoughts. I have tried picking up the phone knowing I have to forgive, but it is a daily battle for me. I just think in my head how could someone take advantage of a little girl who didnt know or understand what was happening to her. I pray God will help me beat this devil down and be free from him and the pain.

    • Carmen, I am praying for you sister! God WILL release you! I know it. You don’t have to call him to tell him you forgive him. But you can say it out loud over and over again until you start to feel it. Check your email girl πŸ™‚ Love you!

  2. I will do that. Thank you for the encouragement.

  3. Here I sit, eyes wide, jaw open…I just finished your ebook. Powerful stuff. I am going to read it again…I am a huge believer in forgiveness, and I actually wrote a TWENTY page letter to my ex-husband while we were seperated that helped me forgive him–and me–for all that went wrong. I love the validation, I love that you so openly share your pain and your heart with the hope of helping people heal. You (and your book) are a blessing. This book is a wonderful resource that will help many free themselves and forgive the people who have wronged them. Absolutely wonderful.

  4. Thank you so much for a copy, I read it and it was an awesome book. I sat hear reading it out loud to myself and my 14 year old walks in and asked why my voice was trembling as I read. I didn’t realize I my whole body was trembling, the pain I felt for you, other women, myself. As I read your letter to him, I felt as if I was reading it to my molester. I have wondered how far did he go, when did he actually start on me. I am not sure if this is question I want answered. I had to go lay down and cry, I cried uncontrolably feeling some kind of release. Knowing that another woman knew exactly what went through my mind as a child and growing up. It made me feel like I can get through this and I will do exactly as your book says. For anyone who does not have this book, get it. Thank you Mel

    • Carmen, now I am in tears. Oh sister I have been praying for you since the first time we chatted (and I apologize for not sharing your story, I lost a ton of stuff in the move from urls). I am here to encourage you and if I can figure it out and get brave enough, I am going to start an online bible study! Upload youtube videos and you can always come here and chat and work through things. Work the steps girl and they aren’t steps you do in order (darn, meant to write THAT in the book) but to be done concurrently, together. You CAN do this girl! You can because Jesus says you can, not because I say so πŸ™‚ β™₯

  5. What a powerful and honest look at your life. Thank you for sharing. I have been through a very similar situation and still hang on to some of that anger. I especially love this “I don’t believe the saying ‘Fight for yourself because no one else will’ because Christ will.” What an amazing realization. I think that I have always felt that way and that is why things have gone so well for me. Thank you again for opening your life to all so that they may be free.

    Keena

  6. First, I am SO sorry that this happened to you πŸ™
    Thank you for opening up and sharing this traumatic event in your life. I Praise God for working in your life! You are an amazing person and because you have allowed God to heal you, and help you forgive…I pray MANY people will be blessed, and learn to forgive as well! My God continue to shine through you…love ya!

    • Thank you Nikki! He’s already moving in ways that I had prayed for! Sometimes we have to experience the bad stuff to glorify Him later πŸ™‚

      • I’m so glad you’ve recovered! And so sorry a monster hurt you. I do not believe for an instant that God ordained that atrocity.

  7. I know how hard this has been for you to deal with & how hard you’ve worked in order to come out on top. I can only thank God for your restoration & our restored & much-improved relationship. And how lucky is a mom to be counted as one of her daughter’s best friends?! Especially after all of this. I love you & am so very proud of you!

  8. I finished your book a while ago. Mel, I cried with you. You described exactly how I feel and have felt growing up. It was like you were in my head. Our stories are so very similar. I didn’t think healing or forgiving was possible and I went into reading your book very skeptical but with a small glimmer of hope. I went through your steps, each and every single one of them. You and God have changed my life. I finally forgave my abusers and my heart feels lighter, happier, and almost whole. I have some more work to do but without your help, I would have never started this journey. I would have never even known HOW to start. Thank you doesn’t seem to cover what I want to say to you. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being willing to put yourself out there so that others can learn to heal. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    PS – I hope it’s okay to use a fake name. Please don’t publish my email address. I have family that is not ready to face all of this.

    • Suzie Q – God bless you! You made my day! I’m so glad to hear that God is moving in your life and freeing you from the bondage of childhood abuse. It’s all God, He gave me the story and the words. Prayers and hugs to you! OH and don’t worry, email addies don’t publish and a fake name is totally okay πŸ™‚

  9. Mel, I was so excited to see your book was 2.99 for kindle which I was going to get but when I clicked on it it said it was up to 6+ . I didn’t know if you knew or if the kindle was something through a different format. Was just wondering.
    Debi recently posted..Good Morning

    • Prices of books change periodically. I’ve put in a request for amazon to lower the price back to $2.99

  10. I didn’t read your book but would love to but can’t afford it right now with four kids and saving everything we got for a new fridge that just blew up but we have a tiny one for now. I also write books about my past using names that I make up. I named my daughter one of them. I was told I wouldn’t be able to have her because of the abuse that I have went through but with God all things are possible. She’s my pride and joy. My fiancee has three 2 girls 15 and 13 and a boy 10 will be 11 in July and we have one together she’s almost 5 months. I can’t forgive the people that hurt me in my life and i have trouble with trusting people still. I enjoy writing and hopefully someday I can get them published. i was wondering since I couldn’t read your book can you give me a few ways on how to forgive the people that hurt me and trust again and to help me to move on in life? Thanks Kandrea

  11. I am a male that was molested many years ago and I vowed I would take this knowledge to my grave but it has really screwed up my life and have been going through a program from Dr. Paul Hegstrom out of Denver. It is helping greatly. My wife left me cause she does not believe I was molested. She thinks I willingly had sex with the 2 men that molested me. So on top of being molested I have to deal with my wife saying that. It was the worst years of my life when I was being molested. I was a preteen and teen. I was so scared I had no idea what to do but to just close my eyes and take it, I have come a long way in the program I am going through but have a way to go. I have to work on the forgiveness cause we are learning forgiveness is not to let them off the hook but to help me put it behind me. I have to leave it to God to take care of the justice they get. Well I could go on and on but my main question is would your book help forgiveness when it was male to male molestation? I look forward in hearing from you.
    John

    • Yes, John, I believe it would. It’s meant for anyone who needs to forgive. Your comments don’t show up until I approve them because of the sensitive nature of my site, I don’t allow folks to post w/o approval. This way folks can write me and know I will read it first and I don’t publish every comment. I’m so sorry for what you experienced. I have prayed for your healing. It can be a very rough road but there is freedom at the end of it!

  12. I ran across your book (but haven’t read it because I don’t have the means to right now) while I was thinking about my own molestation, along with my sister’s. We were both molested by the same man, but have dealt with the suffering in extremely different ways. She has chosen to keep hating this man, while I chose to forgive him. I understand where her hate is coming from; I felt it, too, but I can’t join her in it anymore. I want to forgive and move on with my life, not let it fester while holding grudges.

    At the same time, it’s hard for me because I still suffer from my molestation. I can’t enjoy a fruitful relationship because of my lack of trust towards men, my paranoia that they only want one thing from me, and from fear that if I were to marry a man and have children with him, that he will do to them what this man did to me. It burdens me so badly, and it hurts so much.

    The sad thing is that my sister was married over a year ago, and she doesn’t know I suffer in this way. She believes I don’t suffer at all from being molested just because I forgave our molester, but the burdens of such a tragedy do affect my life, despite me not holding a grudge anymore. I just see these issues as things that I need to battle on my own now. I am a woman, and I need to seek out what help I need to get better. I suppose it’s this stubbornness that makes me work so hard to try not to be a victim of my circumstances, past and present. Even from my molestation. I don’t want to be a victim in my life, and I hate feeling the way I do about men who are not at fault for what happened to me.

    As a result of my choice, my sister and I have become distant with each other. We’ve never been very close to begin with, but I do love her. We’re both challenged in trying to communicate with each other, too, because we’re so different, which makes this situation 10x more difficult, and leaves me sometimes questioning my choice to forgive.

    I would share more, because the situation has a lot of complexity, but I’ll leave it at that. I only wanted to share my thoughts when running across your book, and also wanted to thank you for writing it. If my sister and I start talking again, I will encourage her to read your book. If I can’t help her, I want to make sure someone else can. So thank you so much. You’re very brave, loving, and awesome for taking the time to write down your experiences and spiritual journey with God to get better and understand the power of forgiveness.

    • Thank you, Candace for coming and sharing your heart with me. It’s not an easy road but it can be done. You and your sister are in my prayers. I wonder if at some point you two can sit down alone together and talk about it. I know the struggle and I pray you both find peace and release from it. β™₯

  13. I am sharing my previously written review at my Blog. In His Grace, Dawn
    Dawn recently posted..Sharing The Sunrise {Beach Morning Walk}

  14. can you retype your eply to my question i lost it somehow

    • Kandrea, I’m not sure what happened but I resent the email which contained a copy of my book. I hope that answers your questions? If not, please let me know.

  15. that is great thanks but didn’t get it can you send it again. right now I’m going through a lot and trying to find help but don’t know where to go and how but I feel like giving up I use to be so strong and now i just don’t no. I wanted to know if there where others out thee like me. I was trying to get online and find online support groups u have any suggestions? My life keeps going down hill because of what happen and I have trouble trusting people and talking to them but I have to do something my life may be in danger. I don’t want thinks to get worse and for my abusers to take anymorre control in my life.

    thanks

    • Have you checked your spam folder? Because I’ve emailed it four times to the email addie you posted here. Yahoo groups is a good place online to look. BUT I will warn you, they can be hard. I joined one and hearing some of the horrific stories was a HUGE trigger for me years ago. Please email me your physical address and I will send you both, How I Forgave My Molester and Trailing After God which is set up in a journal fashion. email at melindatodd@melindatodd.com

  16. have u gotten my e-mails melinda?

    • Only here. I have responded to the email address you post on this site: ponygirl2628@yahoo.com 6 times now. I’m really not sure what else to do?

      • I haven’t gotten any e-mail from u lately. Any ideas? I have 2 questions also not sure if u know any information on it or not but thought I could ask. The first one is: Is there any site that I can go on and write the books I write so others can read them? I write books about abuse and other things also but don’t know where to write them and I want to share to people. The other question is: How do I get that supportive group site that u mentioned about? The one on yahoo? Sorry if I was being a pest just right now life is really hard and I have too much anger right now trying to deal with things myself and ain’t finding the right people to talk to. The site that I went to just talk about other things then what I need to be talking about. I also tried to get on a page so I can write to u other then on here so maybe u could help in some way but didn’t know how to do that either. Maybe u can help me.

        Thanks and again sorry for the bothering u I’m just in desperate need of help before my life gets thrown away.

  17. Thanks for the info. I wish I could read your books I don’t know why its not working but thanks for at least trying to give them the only other way is if I put my physical address on here. Do I have to worry about people stealing them and publishing them and using their name? I want so bad to get my books published it’s always been a dream so that others can read them. Does writing on these sites cost anything?

    • It costs nothing to load your work onto these sites but they do take a percentage of the sales and as an author, you only get paid quarterly and with amazon, only if your sales exceed a set amount each quarter. There is always a risk someone can steal your work. i know it happens but I don’t think it’s done a lot – I’m not sure. You will also need to design a cover for your work – you can do it yourself (I do) or hire someone.

  18. How do I design a cover? Sorry if I’m bugging. I’m starting to get excited. I always wanted to be a counselor couldn’t finish school for that now I might have a chance to publish my books.
    What all would I need to do to make this work like publishing a book.

    • There is a LOT to it. I’d suggest googling it and reading up on all the laws etc. You will also need to follow the directions on Createspace if that’s the route you go. The one thing you need to know is that you HAVE to own the rights to ANY image you use. While I’ve designed my own covers, I’m no expert. You’ll need to find a tutorial on it. Also, second most important is to get an editor. I have seen some very awful self pubbed books that clearly had no editor, ever and the critics will rip you to shreds if it’s really bad and they can also ask for refunds. I know my book could still use some further editing. There may be a revised version someday but for now, it seems to hit the spot with those who are needing it.

  19. Mel, your writing is so inspirational–I wish I could do so well. May God continue to bless you and your writing efforts. love ya

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