Imperfect mom, wife, daughter of the King? Yep, that’s me (waves both hands in the air frantically like a crazy person). Honestly, I sometimes think I could be like the human version of all the LOL cat photos with the word FAIL attached to them.
You see, today I royally embarrassed myself and well, it won’t be the last. We were getting ready for company and one of our naughty cats who is no longer allowed in the house, was battling with me to get IN and I was trying to get OUT the back sliding door with something in my arms (see I don’t even remember what I was carrying). The cat won and I let the swear words fly. Oh yes, the sailors would have been proud. Then I chased his orange butt through my house until he ran under one of the beds. Grrr...
I stomped out of the house and slammed the door. As luck would have it, my eyes caught a glimpse through the fence slots of something red on the porch next door. Yep, one of our neighbors rocking in her chair on the back porch. Nnnniiiiiccccceeeee.……..
So just so you all know, I’m not perfect. I don’t have it all together. There are weeds in my flower beds, toys under the couch, crumbs in the kitchen, a nice protective layer of dust on my furniture, and clean unfolded laundry covering my bed (which gets thrown on the floor or into laundry baskets at bedtime). My mouth gets me in trouble. I hate it. I should probably wash my own mouth out with soap. Maybe that would help?
It drives me bonkers. I hate hearing those words come out but they do. I remember when I started swearing around third grade. It made me feel powerful and grown-up. Now it just makes me feel like a total idiot. I mean good Christians don’t have a potty mouth. Do they? Probably not. I wonder how many of you are going to read this article and be totally disgusted with me?
Here’s the thing. I don’t talk like this all the time or around my church friends. I could have something really awful happen around them and I bet I could control my tongue. So why is it that at home they just naturally spew out?
Can’t you just imagine the neighbors asking me what I do? “Oh I write a Christian website.” I can hear their inner thoughts, can’t you? Yeah, great witness.
So what do we do? I’ve prayed about it. You can pray for me too (thanks I know I don’t even have to ask some of you). Do you have something in your life that just makes you want to slap your own face? It’s so frustrating. Our flesh just seems to want to sin. I’d like to beat it into submission but so far that doesn’t seem to be effective and people stare when I do (totally joking).
There’s a blog I follow because she cracks me up. I think she’s at least honest about who she is. It’s called, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. I so wish more Christians would be a little more honest with their struggles. It might really help those of us who are constantly having an inner boxing match with ourselves to know that you also have a hard time with certain things.
I know, we all like to paint on our fancy cover-up, add a little blush, and plaster on the sparkly happy lipstick but really, who are we fooling? Does it do you any good to think that everyone else at church has it all figured out except you? Because I will tell you, it doesn’t help me. It just gives me more ammo for my boxing match with myself.
So, come on over to my house and have some coffee, if there’s any left, we may have to drink kool-aid Just don’t look under the couch cushions or inspect for dust. If you do have it all figured out, could you come by and show me how to do it?
What do you think? Do we do a disservice to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ by putting on the perfect mask each Sunday? Do you have an inner battle going on with something?
PS – Part of why I write this blog is to show others they don’t have to pretend to be perfect. I’m not. I won’t pretend to be here.