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    Baby Gifts

Hidden Secrets – Dear Abuser

Revealing a secret can often times give us a sense of relief, even if it’s just writing a letter we won’t send or admitting to something we want to deny. Here you can read what others are revealing and share your own if you wish. * These are all reader submissions *

Dear Stupid abuser:

I hate you. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I hate you. People tell me to forgive you but I can’t. I won’t. You stole so much and ruined my life and my family. My mom won’t speak to me. She believes your sick lies. Pisses me off. No man will ever marry me. I hate men. My life is lonely because of you. I didn’t even do anything wrong but I am being punished because of some sick a#$%^#@. Everyone protects you. YOU! I hope there is a hell and you rot there with all of your christian buddies who think you are innocent and perfect. I wish I could spit in your face. I wish I had scratched your eyes out when you touched me. I should have kicked you in the balls. You don’t deserve to live your happy little life while I suffer in silence. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Dear Friend –

Could you put your phone DOWN for one afternoon? Could you?! Pretend to even listen to me instead of texting and saying mhhmmm and what? You’re not Madonna! No one you talk to is that important. No one will die without your next text. I’m right HERE! In the flesh! Wanting to talk to you. Needing to connect like we used to. Face to face. I only get to get away from the kids once in a while and it was for nothing. I could have talked to the dog. I wanted to snatch your phone out of your hands and throw it. Don’t you want to have a real conversation that doesn’t involve LOL, WTH, BDTD? One that requires thinking and speaking and feeling? I DO! I NEED IT! Where did you  go? Are you real anymore or so wrapped up in your make believe cyber world that you can’t see life passing you by? I wonder how your kids must feel.
Your Old Friend,

dear husband:

I don’t love you anymore and I don’t know what to do. I want to love you but I feel repulsed by you. You’re never home. You do nothing with our kids. When you are home all you do is play on the computer or your stupid game. Your kids are dying for your attention. I used to be, now I cringe when you come home. When you want sex, I feel like I am being raped because I have NO desire for you and I don’t want to be intimate with you. I pray for a miracle but so far, nothing changes. I’m so tired. So so tired. I do everything. I never get a break. Yet you get to go to the bar after work or go golfing. What do I get? Nothing. I’m in a marriage full of nothing. I wish I were single. I long for companionship. I want to be loved. I want to be desired for more than a quick one sided episode. 🙁 I give up.

* Do you have a hidden secret you want to get off your chest? Use the Hidden Secrets form and leave an anonymous note, letter, what ever you want!


  1. These are some powerful cries. Praying for each of them.

    Hating an abuser is a natural reaction to abuse. Forgiveness is for us, not for them. It does not mean we remove their responsibility but it does mean we stop their presence in our lives and let God take care of them.

    Your friend who loves the phone needs to reconnect with people in a real – face to face way. Is she hiding form something or is there another reason why she has this need to be ‘important’ on the phone or on texts? I have some friends who are very busy with ‘stuff’ that I miss terribly, and when we get together they are always on the phone. It hurts my heart for us.

    How sad. Your husband has abandoned his love and his children for himself. That is tragic for you and your children. I’m praying you can sit him down and tell him he needs to change because he is pushing away and alienating his family. It is terribly hard to compete with a game or a computer – the virtual world is addicting for some. That is not, however, an excuse!

  2. This is very interesting…I hope i can visit again this blog.:)

  3. Hating an abuser is a natural reaction to abuse. Forgiveness is for us, not for them. It does not mean we remove their responsibility but it does mean we stop their presence in our lives and let God take care of them.Anyway, thanks for sharing this with us.

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