Heart tugged and stirred. News flashed across the screen calling for my attention. A whisper danced across my soul some 12 years ago.
I’m going to Haiti someday, it said.
Um, wait a minute. What? I shook my head and went about my business for the next many years. But the seed was planted.
And then the announcement of the mission trip at church came so many years later and I knew. Knew without a doubt I was going. That deep in your gut knowing.
You can’t unsee it.
Can’t unfeel it.
Can’t unlove it.
But what do I do with all of it? There will never be the old normal in my world. Never again.
God, what do I do now? I’ve fallen head over heels. How do I function now? What do you want me to do?
In the last year the answers have trickled in. And now, I return in 13 days bringing my husband along this time. Praying he falls head over heels in love with the faces and country that have captured my own shattered heart.
Every detail God has met. Every. Single. Detail. – Can I get an AMEN? *We are SO close to raising our goal of $5,000 to give to the orphanage. |*| << That close.
And yet, I will admit that I still have some fears and anxiety.
- What if something happens to us? What if we die? Gulp.
- Will our kids be okay?
- What if one of our children gets really hurt while we are gone? What if my hubby or I get hurt?
- What if we get sick?
- What if we hate it?
- What if my husband hates it and I love it?
- What if I hate it and he loves it?
- What if the folks at the ministry don’t like us?
- What if we all don’t get along?
And the most exciting and yet scary question of all?
What if we get the confirmation that, yes, we are moving to Haiti to be missionaries?
Because ultimately that is why we are going. Yes, we’re going to serve. But we’re going to see if this calling we feel is meant to be.
We believe that He is calling. But we’re willing to admit that we’ve been wrong before.
We are willing to do Anything He asks us to do.
Willing to risk it all. To be the Jesus Freaks and have some shake their heads at what seems insane and dangerous for a family of six.
This calling may not look at all like what we think it should. But to ignore the call would be disobedient.
So we jump off the cliff with both feet and hands flailing, trusting God to help us soar and land where He intends.
Has God been asking you to GO?
It doesn’t have to be overseas. Perhaps He is calling you locally. Are you pursuing his prompting or ignoring it?
Please share in the comments. We’d love to be able to pray for and with you.
And if you would be so kind, we ask for your prayers. That our gracious God would give us answers and for safety for us all. As well as for the concerns listed above.
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