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Because Sometimes I Am Unlovable

unlovable melinda_todd

It’s the words that spew forth. The anger that boils. And the taunt that soon follows.

Not good enough.

Failure.

Loser.

Stupid.

Hypocrite.

Because I am seeking daily; sometimes moment by moment. Learning to be different but often falling back into that which feels natural to the flesh.

I know I’m being watched. Being judged. Because I’m a believer and that translates into others often thinking that I am to be perfect. No room for error. No stumbling.

Or that I somehow think I am perfect or better than others. But I’m not. And I know it down to my core.

The one who searches my heart and chases after my soul has found me. And I have found Him.I follow behind, tripping along, but following nonetheless.

Because I want the salvation He offers.

The love.

The relentless hope-filled love.

The kind that I can’t give but fully receive.

And sometimes that is all I can do. Lay at His feet and bask in the glow that I don’t deserve.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Blessings,

Mel signature

5 Comments

  1. “I follow behind, tripping along, but following nonetheless.” So sweet.

    Why is it that so many people expect Christians to be perfect yet don’t live up to it themselves? sigh*** I can understand when a condemning abusive pharisee makes a mistake and people lash out because of the hypocrisy (not that it’s right)… but everyone is fallible.. Christians and nonChristians alike.

    I love the grace and mercy of Jesus. When others want to harass us or belittle us when we fall, he doesn’t. He lets us fall back into his arms and he gently hushes us with whispers of grace.

    “Father, forgive them they have no idea what they’re doing”

    We’ll often be misunderstood and we might be in need of better words for communication, but nonetheless, grace. Always rest in grace.
    Sisterlisa recently posted..Finding Value in Others

  2. This article is me to a t.
    I especially like the last line ” And sometimes that is all I can do. Lay at His feet and bask in the glow that I don’t deserve.

  3. As I read your words, the realization hit me, though we may FEEL unloved, there is never a second when that is true. The only One who matters is the One who loves us most. He is always for us and will help us silence the voices around us not in agreement with His. You are a beloved and most appreciated sister and woman of God. Walk in the fullness of His blessings. Love overflows!

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